Response to "Why I Want a Wife" by Judy Syfers

This is basically an English essay we had to do in response to this bullshit article
http://www.verge.demon.co.uk/kerb/wantwife.htm

Anyway, we had to take on the role of some tabloid newspaper and share out thoughts. I took on the role of Alpha male "Donovan Steroids" a character I built up during this response...

STFU magazine

After reading the article by Syfers I vomited through my hands. I could not contain the pure anger that I felt. In my blaze of fury I swept the article in to the plastic bottle recycling bin and wrote about it on my blog

"How dare she! How dare this generalizing, whining, stupid bitch just assume all of these things! As a toned, alpha male I come how every night and enjoy my wife's company. We cook, we sing, we laugh, we dance and then make love like powerful eagles. My wife and I could not be anymore happier with our relationship.

Sure, we take on the traditional role of me going to work, writing articles and lifting heavy weights while she stays at home. But has this old fashioned excuse for a woman ever heard of a healthy relationship? My wife and I never argue, at best we debate passionately over botany.

Syfers article is nothing more than an old, disregarded complaint to society. No one cares what she has to say because it is so horrifically irrelevant to everyone. As N-Dubz once said "Times they are a changing". Women feel better about themselves and have a lot more power! Think about who won 'Miss USA' beauty pageant? That's right. A woman.

For the readers at home I quote one of her actual lines from this atrocity of literature.

"I want a wife who cooks the meals, a wife who is a good cook."

How dare she even write anything like that. It hit me like a thunderbolt atop Mount Everest. The words dissolved on the page in an endless, animal bleat. Nothing mattered in my life apart from this sentence. It tied me down and force fed me it's bullshit.

If there is one thing I won't tolerate, it's saying men can't cook. I LOVE cooking. My wife says I'm not not a bad cook, and to me, that spells good.

I therefore conclude that this woman. This insignificant limescale on society is undeniably wrong.

I'm going to relieve the stress and go work on my delts.


DONOVAN STEROIDS.